Ahhhh the Television Critics Association panels, what a time to be alive. We have a chance to hear the thoughts and insights of networks and execs as we head in to the new fall season, and as this year’s fun in the ballroom winds down one thing stands clear – Network Television Just Don’t Give A Fuck.
Just like Janice from accounting but in network form.
Many of the big five are just happy to put something on the air, and have given a VERY clear indication that they don’t care what that something is.
Nothing drove this point home more than NBC’s executive panel. Besides voicing their ‘disappointment’ that The Carmichael Show didn’t manage “to find a stable audience.” *cough* BULLSHIT *cough* to Robert Greenblatt’s moving shut-the-fuck-up-we-don’t-care-about-your-fan-campaigns-we-cancel-what-we-want-and-this-is-all-your-fault shout out to the fans it’s such a grand time to be a lover of network television. And let’s not forget Bobby’s long list of shows he’d love to see revived – among which included The Office and 30 Rock – shows that when they were on the air the network didn’t give a fuck about! But hey, mediocre times call for mediocre ideas right!
Now this isn’t just an NBC problem, this level of incompetence and “settle for nothing less than meh” attitude is rife across almost all the broadcast networks.
CBS alone started the trend of abysmal schedules with their constant rotation of crime drama, crime drama, Big Bang Theory, crime drama, football, crime drama, and new this year – Big Bang Theory spinoff. Wow, inspiring isn’t it? Couple that with NBC’s Will & Grace revival, which was picked up for a second season despite not even airing yet, and ABC’s American Idol and Roseanne reboots and network television is balls deep in desperation. So what the hell is going on here? Long story short network television is run by a bunch of people that equate any effort as great effort. I mean NBC wholeheartedly bragged about winning the key demo with ratings that barely entered the 2.2 realm. Jesus wept.
You’re Not Doing Yourselves Any Favors
The argument “Network Television Is Dead” has been circling the industry for half a decade now, and for years I have fought tooth and nail against this but it’s getting harder and harder to deny given the landscape. Yes, I know there are still some brilliant offerings out there – but they are becoming fewer and harder to find and given executive’s inclination for quantity over quality this is only going to get worse in coming years.
One of the biggest things that sets network apart from their OTT counterparts is the reluctance to take chances. Because network television lives or dies by viewership ratings and advertising dollars the adage of stick with what worked before has become the norm. People loved Roseanne twenty years ago, so naturally they’ll love it now right?? NO. No they fucking won’t! I can’t emphasize this enough – what is old is not great again! And you’re not doing yourselves any favors by pretty much writing on the wall – we have no ideas and are scared for our lives – because you competitors are going to eat you alive! So I’m begging you – STOP! Stop counting yourselves out and stop making lazy ass decisions, because taking pride in your goddamn work is the only thing that can save the network television industry.
You have nothing to lose!
There appears to be only a small pool of talent that network execs want to deal with in terms of development, and to a a degree this is understandable. People such as Chuck Lorre, Dick Wolf and Sondra Rhimes have their run of the networks because of their proven track record to churn out hits, but even these high profile names do not guarantee an audience passed the first few airings and at some point the ideas well is going to run dry. So all I can say is take a chance on that nobody show runner or someone who doesn’t have any previous hits to their name because at the end of the day if a show is going to fail, it’s going to fail regardless of who’s name is below the EP credit. Many of the shows that will hit your television screens this fall will likely not see a second season so roll the dice and put something no one is expecting on your network. You, executives, control the fate of the industry right now and YOU are the ones that are sinking it faster than the fucking Titanic so take the helm and steer the fucking ship away from the giant iceberg of mediocrity. Stop normalizing shit, stop making excuses, and stop giving me reasons to hate you!
Raise The Fucking Bar Assholes Or Hit The Road!
If I read how hard it is to run a broadcast network one more time, I swear to all that is holy I’m going to go lay down in the Goddamn street and hope for a semi truck to pass. You know who’s making it hard to run broadcast networks?? The people who run broadcast networks!!!!!!!!! And it doesn’t help that none of them are held accountable for their actions – Greenblatt is set to see his contract renewed at NBC! Yes. Mr Fucking Let’s Reboot Everything! In what other job could you come in with half assed ideas and still keep your job!?!??!?!? Fuck’s sake – if you can’t shake the salt properly on the fries and McDonald’s do you think they’re going to trust you with the secret sauce on the Big Mac? NO! They’re gonna dump your ass round back with the left over Shamrock Shakes dickheads! Come on, get it together!
A television show has to perform well otherwise it won’t get renewed, so why the hell aren’t the people in charge of said show’s fate – you know scheduling, promoting, and just generally putting the damn thing on the air, not held to the same standard?? If you look at any of the cable networks that are flourishing right now I guarantee that almost all of the people in charge have been ousted from a broadcast network at some point in their career. And if you’re Kevin Reilly – twice. So what are they doing right? Pretty much what they got fired for doing elsewhere – taking risks, being innovative and just trying to make a mark in the vast world of television. They’re making smart choices. SMART. They aren’t clutching at straws and bringing back a talent show that was only just cancelled a year ago (Oh yeah ABC – I fucking went there!), they’re taking stock of what isn’t working and adapting and that is what is needed now.
I’d like to conclude this with a “maybe things will be better in the new season” paragraph but nah. This isn’t going to get any better any time soon, but I will end in saying I hope I’m wrong. I hope this season will completley prove my above statements/rants wrong. *sigh*
Previously On Ash Loves Tv...
