Several years ago I wrote a review for the FOX sitcom Mulaney, starring SNL writer/comic turned actor John Mulaney, and at the time I said I couldn’t find a single good thing to say about the show. Well, congratulations guys I’ve finally found one – you’re NOT CBS sitcom 9JKL AND no longer the worst television show I’ve ever watched. Party down folks, enjoy your moment.
Now back to this fucking thing over here… I don’t even have the energy so in lieu of a review I’m going to show you how I envision the pitch session going down for the terrible crime against television that is 9JKL.
INT. CBS OFFICES. MORNING OF UP FRONTS.
CBS Executive 1: “We need another comedy on the schedule, someone make that happen!”
CBS Executive 2: “Well boss, we don’t really have anything in the pipeline….”
CBS Executive 1: “Who cares, just take a bunch of scripts from the 1992 rejection pile and copy and paste something together.”
CBS Executive 2: “Oh good thinkin’ boss! Retro’s in!”
CBS Executive 1: “Yeeees… And make sure to emphasize the worst sitcom tropes from the nineties! People don’t quite hate the multi-cam sitcom genre enough nowadays!”
CBS Executive 2: “Yeah boss, yeah! We can change that!”
CBS Executive 1: “Hmm.. terrible script and terrible acting is not enough though we need…. a terrible name. Something that will confuse people and bring absolutely nothing to the premise of the show..”
CBS Executive 2: “…..9JKL”
CBS Executive 1: “You’re going to go far in this business, kid! Here, take a billion dollars and get that shit made!”
FADE TO BLACK.
9JKL is on CBS Mondays… at some time. Who gives as shit….. your time would be better spent laying face down in a pool of your own vomit.
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